Saturday, July 16, 2011
How is this prologue? Do you feel the emotion? Where should I edit it?
I loved the first paragraph. It is a very dramatic and intense death scene. I like the details and the intricacies of a potential vampiric death. It seems to take longer than is traditional but it is wonderfully vivid. The rest of it (for me) is teen romantic drivel. I don't have a problem with her loving a vampire it is just the extremism of it all. He being the only vamp she could ever stand, the only one she ever loved because he was a good vampire? I have a problem with animal blood drinking vamps when he could just get some from a local blood bank. But otherwise this kindly vampire thing doesn't sit well with all readers of vampire lore.
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